Let the pain go, and heal that heart.
As cliche as this sounds, I have been there. I have been on both sides if we are being honest, the heart breaker and the one with the broken heart. This is for the ones with the broken heart, the ones who cry themselves to sleep at night but smile in public so that they're not asked questions. This is for the ones with the hurt hearts who aren't eating enough or at all because it just hurts that bad This is for the girl who may think there is something wrong with her, because someone else didn't see your value. The ones who got left for someone else so you're spending all this time wondering why you were never good enough.. THIS IS FOR YOU.
I've got a couple things to say, love does not hurt, in any way shape or form. Not verbally, physically, sexually, mentally, not in any way and if it does - its toxic. Sometimes these things can be fixed, through counseling but other times, as hard as it is, you need to leave. Please do it for you because you are deserving of so much more. You are worthy, and so so valuable. You are important. Lets think about something, if a newborn baby has value, anyone does. As a human being, you hold value. You have survived 100% of your toughest days, and you are so strong for that reason alone. Every hard situation has taught you a lesson, and that is a lesson that you can learn from and possibly teach others.
Something that I have learned along the way is that everyone, friends included do not always stay. I believe that everyone in your life is there for a reason. people come and they go and as hard as that was for me to wrap my head around - I have made peace with it. Everyone that has come and gone from my life has definitely taught me a lesson, and whether it be my fault, or their's, it has helped me grow. I'll admit there are times I just was not in a good headspace, or I was the toxic one. Self reflection is so important because you can see growth in that. Growth is so important and vital in life, its the pursuit of happiness in my opinion. You could have all the things, and do all the things but unless you are truly happy with yourself, and making steps to grow, you probably won't be happy.
You have to want to not feel the pain. you may be have to work at it, quite a bit at that. That work could last for months, years, there's no set of time that it takes to get over the pain of a heartbreak. You have to want happiness for yourself. 100 people can tell you that it's going to be okay, or that it'll heal in time, but honestly healing is on your own time. You have to want to, and believe that you can really let it go. Remember that you came into this world one by one, and you will leave just the same, you don't need anyone to complete you. You are already complete by yourself, you are valuable and that's where that self love comes in to play.
Don't go rushing into a relationship, or hook up just to get over an ex because honey, that is just like putting a bandaid on a cut. Eventually you're going to have to give the cut oxygen so it can scab and completely heal. It might numb the pain for a while, but it won't heal the way you need it to heal. Allow yourself to be in your feelings, its okay to feel things, that is when you are actually the strongest when you allow yourself to feel out your feelings and process those emotions. Don't hurt someone else along the way. Why make someone feel the way you have felt, in a sense of hurt? It can be so damn destructive so please, just don't do it. instead lean on those support systems, the friends you have in your corner. Try a new hobby, go on dates with yourself, be the strong bad ass person that you are. Give yourself grace and know that not everyone is going to always understand.
If someone has left you, it is not a " you " problem. it is their problem, and understand that everyone grows, sometimes together and sometimes apart. That is more than okay, its the way you go about things. Do not sit around asking yourself why to questions you may never get the answers to. As hard as it seems, easier said than done, let that shit go. Holding onto it does not bring you peace. Stop lurking on their instagram, or checking on their socials. cut contact for a while. Maybe that person and you can talk things out eventually but if that isn't the case, let it go. Open that new chapter and don't block your blessings because you're still stuck on what could, should, would have been. In my honest opinion, its a waste of your time when you could be being productive on something else, or doing something that you are passionate about, spending time with your family, time goes by so damn fast, don't stay waiting around. Learn to be alright with closing chapters in your story.
Hurt people, hurt people. It is what it is - Forgive even when there isn't an apology. It is only going to bring you peace from the situation. Again, that could be from a friendship, a relationship, any wrong that someone has done. Also, if someone has hurt you, let them know because sometimes, they just aren't aware but again, you can't make anyone be sorry but you can learn from the situation and let it go. Love yourself enough to want to move forward, and better yourself.
Overall: do what is best for you and heal at your own pace
I wish nothing but the best for you,
Aspen
*Disclaimer* I am not a counselor, therapist, or anything, I am just giving my advice, and some words from the heart on the subject.
I've got a couple things to say, love does not hurt, in any way shape or form. Not verbally, physically, sexually, mentally, not in any way and if it does - its toxic. Sometimes these things can be fixed, through counseling but other times, as hard as it is, you need to leave. Please do it for you because you are deserving of so much more. You are worthy, and so so valuable. You are important. Lets think about something, if a newborn baby has value, anyone does. As a human being, you hold value. You have survived 100% of your toughest days, and you are so strong for that reason alone. Every hard situation has taught you a lesson, and that is a lesson that you can learn from and possibly teach others.
Something that I have learned along the way is that everyone, friends included do not always stay. I believe that everyone in your life is there for a reason. people come and they go and as hard as that was for me to wrap my head around - I have made peace with it. Everyone that has come and gone from my life has definitely taught me a lesson, and whether it be my fault, or their's, it has helped me grow. I'll admit there are times I just was not in a good headspace, or I was the toxic one. Self reflection is so important because you can see growth in that. Growth is so important and vital in life, its the pursuit of happiness in my opinion. You could have all the things, and do all the things but unless you are truly happy with yourself, and making steps to grow, you probably won't be happy.
You have to want to not feel the pain. you may be have to work at it, quite a bit at that. That work could last for months, years, there's no set of time that it takes to get over the pain of a heartbreak. You have to want happiness for yourself. 100 people can tell you that it's going to be okay, or that it'll heal in time, but honestly healing is on your own time. You have to want to, and believe that you can really let it go. Remember that you came into this world one by one, and you will leave just the same, you don't need anyone to complete you. You are already complete by yourself, you are valuable and that's where that self love comes in to play.
Don't go rushing into a relationship, or hook up just to get over an ex because honey, that is just like putting a bandaid on a cut. Eventually you're going to have to give the cut oxygen so it can scab and completely heal. It might numb the pain for a while, but it won't heal the way you need it to heal. Allow yourself to be in your feelings, its okay to feel things, that is when you are actually the strongest when you allow yourself to feel out your feelings and process those emotions. Don't hurt someone else along the way. Why make someone feel the way you have felt, in a sense of hurt? It can be so damn destructive so please, just don't do it. instead lean on those support systems, the friends you have in your corner. Try a new hobby, go on dates with yourself, be the strong bad ass person that you are. Give yourself grace and know that not everyone is going to always understand.
If someone has left you, it is not a " you " problem. it is their problem, and understand that everyone grows, sometimes together and sometimes apart. That is more than okay, its the way you go about things. Do not sit around asking yourself why to questions you may never get the answers to. As hard as it seems, easier said than done, let that shit go. Holding onto it does not bring you peace. Stop lurking on their instagram, or checking on their socials. cut contact for a while. Maybe that person and you can talk things out eventually but if that isn't the case, let it go. Open that new chapter and don't block your blessings because you're still stuck on what could, should, would have been. In my honest opinion, its a waste of your time when you could be being productive on something else, or doing something that you are passionate about, spending time with your family, time goes by so damn fast, don't stay waiting around. Learn to be alright with closing chapters in your story.
Hurt people, hurt people. It is what it is - Forgive even when there isn't an apology. It is only going to bring you peace from the situation. Again, that could be from a friendship, a relationship, any wrong that someone has done. Also, if someone has hurt you, let them know because sometimes, they just aren't aware but again, you can't make anyone be sorry but you can learn from the situation and let it go. Love yourself enough to want to move forward, and better yourself.
Overall: do what is best for you and heal at your own pace
I wish nothing but the best for you,
Aspen
*Disclaimer* I am not a counselor, therapist, or anything, I am just giving my advice, and some words from the heart on the subject.